Healing and Forgiveness After Abortion
Have you had an abortion? You're not alone. There's hope!
Post-abortion counselors are waiting to take your call. You can reach them Toll-Free at:
1-800-848-5683 or 1-800-593-2273
Do you want to put those painful feelings and memories
behind you? There’s hope! Thousands of women have experienced tremendous
healing by talking with counselors who specialize in post-abortion counseling.
Many of these counselors are women who have had abortions
themselves. They want to help you. They’ve been there. They know what you’re
experiencing.
Choosing abortion is never an easy decision for a woman. Often, when
a woman finds herself with an unplanned pregnancy, she’s in a crisis. If
she chooses abortion, whether by her own decision or because of pressure
from others, she has chosen to give a part of herself away. Women often
suffer physical, emotional and spiritual damage as a result of their abortion,
yet many women (and professional counselors) never make the connection
between a past abortion and present emotional pain. However, the good news
is that once the abortion has been acknowledged, grieving may begin and
healing can take place.
Grieving is natural . . .
Part of healing often includes a grieving process. Grieving is a normal
and healthy response to a major loss through death. It’s a painful process,
but one that helps relieve sorrow. After an abortion, women may attempt
to bury their grief, turn their emotions off, and run from God. Eventually,
most face the fact that abortion ended their preborn baby’s life. The grieving
process usually consists of five stages.
Relief: The first stage is relief. You might say, “Thank God
I’m not pregnant anymore. My fears and stress are gone. I feel relieved.”
But after a short time, the initial feelings of relief can wear off because
of frequent memories of the actual abortion.
Denial: Then denial sets in. Coping with the memories of the
abortion can be very difficult. Denying the abortion killed your child
may temporarily give you a way to cope with the trauma. You may think,
“No. I wouldn’t murder a baby. I just terminated a pregnancy. It wasn’t
really a baby at that stage, it was just a blob of tissue. “Moving out
of denial usually happens over a period of years and is a different process
for each woman.
Anger: Many women feel they were exploited and become angry with
others and themselves. You may think, “Clinic workers should have told
me the truth about fetal development; they should have told me about adoption.
My parents should not have been so concerned about what others thought.
God should have stopped me.” In this stage, women may dwell on ways others
have hurt them and blame them for their own decision to abort. This anger
often goes unexpressed and may lead to bitterness that interferes with
other areas of their life.
Depression: Another stage of grieving may be depression. The
role a woman plays in her baby’s death can fill her with guilt, shame and
self-condemnation. In this stage, harmful behavior such as drug and alcohol
abuse, or suicidal tendencies, are usually seen. You may think, “I should
have listened to my conscience, or I should have at least given my baby
life, or I should have stood up to the others around me.” (Women moving
out of this stage are no longer angry with themselves. They’ve accepted
their mistake and begin surrounding themselves with God’s love and forgiveness.)
Acceptance: The final stage of grieving is acceptance. At this
point women have acknowledged their own responsibility, forgiven those
who hurt them and accepted God’s forgiveness. They often want to share
with others that they have a new understanding of God’s plan for their
lives. They’ve accepted this grieving process as part of God’s healing
plan and they find joy by focusing on seeking His will in their lives.
Many women will then help others by working as crisis pregnancy counselors
themselves.
Adapted from Forgiven and Set Freeby Linda Cochrane, Baker Book House.
Linda is a Registered Nurse and co-founder of PACE (Post-Abortion Counseling
and Education). You may call Linda Toll-Free at 1-800-203-HOPE.
Post-abortion counselors are waiting to take your call. You can reach them Toll-Free at:
1-800-848-5683 or 1-800-593-2273
|