"Losing 
My 
Virginity"

Dear Friend,

    My story is painful to share, but I want you to know what happened so you won’t get hurt like I did.

I was 23 and I had always planned on being a virgin when I got married. I dreamed of walking up the church aisle wearing a white wedding dress as a sign of my purity and the gift I would give to my husband. This was very important to me and it helped me stay strong for a long time. If only I had persevered! Ultimately, I gave in to pressure and found myself single, pregnant and worried to death.

Telling my parents. . .

    I’ll never forget the sick panic that overcame me. I was afraid, ashamed and worried about my future. How could I tell my parents? What would my relatives, friends and people at church think?

    While I was growing up, my parents did a good job teaching me about the benefits of waiting and the risks of premarital sex. But I allowed myself to get into a situation where a young man continued to pressure me to have sex.

    After saying “no” for so long, I let my willpower get worn down and I gave in to pressures and emotions. The worst part of all was that I knew it was wrong. Still, I gave up my virginity – and three weeks later I discovered I was pregnant.

    And I’m not the only one. Dozens of girls I know from school, work and church have also had sex before marriage. Many got pregnant. Some became infected with venereal diseases. Others have had abortions. I’ve seen it all first-hand. Almost everyone I know who’s had premarital sex has a tragic story. That’s because sex before marriage is full of ugly surprises, heavy price tags and life-long scars.

What about you?

    Are you dating someone and wondering if you should have sex? Take my advice, don’t do it! Wait till you get married. Otherwise you’ll end up like me and my friends saying, “If I had only known.”

    And waiting’s not so bad anyway. You can still have an exciting life with great relationships, fun times and real love – all without sex before marriage. That’s why we’ve published this newspaper. We want you to have the facts so you can make the best decisions possible for yourself regarding sex, love and life.

True love waits

    You see, love is about a lot more than sex, and sex is about more than pleasure and physical desires. Sex is about totally committed love. It’s about bonding for life. It’s about babies and more. That’s why you should save sex for the committed love of marriage. Many kids realize this and they’re happy to be waiting.

Why are they waiting?

    They’re saving sex as a wedding gift for that meaningful, emotionally fulfilling – in essence, the ultimate – lifetime sexual partner that they marry. Controversial? Yes, but you’ll find that waiting for marriage is the best way to go. Read on and you’ll find numerous testimonies from experts, celebrities and peers to prove it. Plus, studies show that saving sex for marriage builds self-respect, willpower, trust, strong communication skills and true love – essential ingredients if you want to build a solid foundation for a life-long marriage.

Broken hearts, diseases, abortion

    “But what if I don’t want to wait?” you might ask. Stop and think about the risks. Are you ready to live with the pain of a broken heart, venereal diseases (STDs), or an unplanned pregnancy? Are you ready to be a single parent, to get married, to place your child for adoption or to live life knowing you aborted your tiny baby?

    Heavy decisions, I know. My baby’s father and I were not right for each other, so marriage was out, and that was difficult. Abortion was also out. It was never an option I would consider. My baby was alive in my womb and she deserved a birthday. In the end I decided it would be best for my child to grow up in a home with two parents, so I placed my baby for adoption with a loving family. It was a tough decision and it’s still painful, but I know in my heart it was the right choice for my precious daughter. I’m so glad she’s alive today!

Pregnant? Need help?

    If you’re single and pregnant, let me make three suggestions: 1. Take your time. Don’t rush or give in to pressure. Learn about all your options. 2. Call the toll-free counseling numbers on page 26. Caring help is available right now. 3. Read the stories in this paper about women who’ve had abortions. Most women regret abortions. In fact, when Dr. David Reardon, Ph.D., surveyed 260 women who’d had abortions, he found that:

        94 percent had regrets about their abortion
        28 percent attempted suicide
        58 percent lost pleasure from intercourse
        63 percent had flashbacks of their abortion

    You can see the complete survey at: AfterAbortion.org

    Women (and men) have been hurt by abortion all across the country. Many have written us and asked us to print their personal stories. We’ve included them on the pages that follow – along with shocking confessions from former abortionists. Until you’ve read about the emotional pain, the spiritual torment and the physical injuries, it’s hard to understand just how devastating abortion really is.

    And finally, we want to help you. If you want to find true love and save sex for marriage, if you’re pregnant and need help, or if you’re suffering after an abortion, we’ve included excellent resources, toll-free counseling numbers and web sites just for you. LoveMatters.com wants you to have all the support, facts and tools you need to make the best possible decisions in life.

    I hope you enjoy reading our paper. Please share it with your friends.

Thank you!

Sincerely yours,

Sue Cyr
LoveMatters' Editor

P.S. If you’re pregnant and need help, Care Net has wonderful counselors to help you at the toll-free number below:

CARE Net: 1-800-395-HELP
(That's 1-800-395-4357)

 

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