Teens Talk About Having Sex
What were your feelings after having sex for the first time?
I felt strange and, in a sense, used. It was like
we were both caring for the same person – him. I felt left out of it. —
Elizabeth, 15
I felt angry. I had promised myself I would wait
till I was married, but I did it anyway. Now it was too late. I had lost
my virginity. — Alice, 15
The only reason I went out with her was for sex.
Once I got it, I was satisfied and I didn’t want to be around her. — Bobby,
17
I felt shy and I didn’t want to see her again or
to look at her when we passed in the hall.— Louis, 15
How did sex affect your relationship?
You have special ties – a bond.You’ve given yourself
to him completely, shared your body with him, satisfied his needs.You think
there will always be a commitment from him and are angry and hurt
then you see there is none. — Melissa, 17
He told me he loved me and he would never leave me.When
we broke up, I was going to commit suicide. I thought no other guy would
ever go with me. — Shannon, 17
You get bored. It’s like a kid with a toy.When he
first gets it, he spends all day with it.Then after he breaks it in, it’s
not fun anymore, so he finds another toy. — Reggie, 16
At first I really liked her, but after I had sex
with her, I saw she wasn’t all I thought she was. — Antonio, 17
I felt real easy and cheap, even though I’m really
not. I just needed to be loved. — Coco, 17
Do you think you have to keep having sex once you’ve started?
No. Maybe the one you did it with was a mistake and
now you’ve learned a lesson.Why make the same mistake twice? — Randie,
16
No. As a matter of fact, I think you can wait until
you’re married, and then you will feel like a virgin, even if you’re not
one. — Dana, 16
What advice would you give a teenager who is not sexually active?
Wait until you’re married.Then when you have sex,
it will mean something – that you’re in love with your husband and want
him to be the first. — Raquel, 17
Wait until you’re married.Young men today are looking
for young women who have not been used, abused, and accused. — Robert,
18
If I was a girl, I would not give it up until I got
married.You just can’t trust these guys. — Jeremy, 16
Wait until you’re married. Most guys out there are
users and you’ll end up getting hurt, having a bad reputation, and more
than likely, in the long run, being alone. Don’t do it to make your boyfriend
happy. — Hamilton, 18
Source: Boyfriends: Getting Them, Keeping Them, Living Without Them
by Joyce L. Vedral, Ph.D. New York: Ballantine Books, 1990
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