Teens Talk About Having Sex

What were your feelings after having sex for the first time?
 
    I felt strange and, in a sense, used. It was like we were both caring for the same person – him. I felt left out of it. — Elizabeth, 15

    I felt angry. I had promised myself I would wait till I was married, but I did it anyway. Now it was too late. I had lost my virginity. — Alice, 15

    The only reason I went out with her was for sex. Once I got it, I was satisfied and I didn’t want to be around her. — Bobby, 17

    I felt shy and I didn’t want to see her again or to look at her when we passed in the hall.— Louis, 15

How did sex affect your relationship?

    You have special ties – a bond.You’ve given yourself to him completely, shared your body with him, satisfied his needs.You think there will always be a commitment from him and are angry and hurt  then you see there is none. — Melissa, 17

    He told me he loved me and he would never leave me.When we broke up, I was going to commit suicide. I thought no other guy would ever go with me. — Shannon, 17

    You get bored. It’s like a kid with a toy.When he first gets it, he spends all day with it.Then after he breaks it in, it’s not fun anymore, so he finds another toy. — Reggie, 16

    At first I really liked her, but after I had sex with her, I saw she wasn’t all I thought she was. — Antonio, 17

    I felt real easy and cheap, even though I’m really not. I just needed to be loved. — Coco, 17

Do you think you have to keep having sex once you’ve started?

    No. Maybe the one you did it with was a mistake and now you’ve learned a lesson.Why make the same mistake twice? — Randie, 16

    No. As a matter of fact, I think you can wait until you’re married, and then you will feel like a virgin, even if you’re not one. — Dana, 16

What advice would you give a teenager who is not sexually active?

    Wait until you’re married.Then when you have sex, it will mean something – that you’re in love with your husband and want him to be the first. — Raquel, 17

    Wait until you’re married.Young men today are looking for young women who have not been used, abused, and accused. — Robert, 18

    If I was a girl, I would not give it up until I got married.You just can’t trust these guys. — Jeremy, 16

    Wait until you’re married. Most guys out there are users and you’ll end up getting hurt, having a bad reputation, and more than likely, in the long run, being alone. Don’t do it to make your boyfriend happy.
— Hamilton, 18

Source: Boyfriends: Getting Them, Keeping Them, Living Without Them

by Joyce L. Vedral, Ph.D. New York: Ballantine Books, 1990
 

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